|
Saturday, July 26, 2008
When I was five, I remembered the mornings spent reading by the front door, afternoons where the wind from the whirring fan blew wisps of hair into my face as I napped, my grandmother spoon-feeding me my dinner as I sat glued to the TV screen,When I was seven, I remembered when the cane hit my slender legs as I refused to have my bathe, the bland taste of the porridge we used to have, the fights I had with my cousins, when I would throw my toys all around and they would hit the floor with a dull thud, just like how the mangoes will fall from the tree below my block, When I was nine, I remembered sneaking a peek into my cousin's precious chest, whereby I took hold of a stick that looked like glue, and drew with the tube and it's sticky contents onto a piece of paper, and getting scolded by my cousin when it was actually lip gloss, When I was 11, I remembered the days when my friend and I shared a bond so deeply forged that we almost had telepathy, when I would sit by the table that was beside a window, and look out to the carpark downstairs and dream of becoming famous, or doodle the name of my crush and daydream of us being together.. When I was 13, I remembered as my sweat dripped off onto one of those grey vandalised tables in school, after a vigorous basketball match under the hot sun, of tears rolling down my cheek when hurt pierced through my heart as I hid in the stuffy toilet cubicle, When I was 14, I remembered roasting slices of meat and food in my friend's house on valentine's, celebrating our single status and laughing at our silly attached seniors. When I turn 17, I want to start all over again. I want to be myself again. When I am 20, I want to be happy. I want to be confident. I want to be proud of who I have turned out to be. When I turn 30, I want to be married. I want to have 2 children by then, who would cry for me in the middle of the night, after having dreamt of being chased by huge, hairy, gorillas. When I am 50, I want to travel the world with my friends and help people who need us around the world. I want to see my daughter walk into the church on the arm of her father, and my son to wait at the altar, with a nervous smile on his face, as they move a step forward towards another life without me. When I become 80, I want to cuddle my grandchildren, and feel their warmth in my wrinkled flaps of skin, and protect them and love them, just like my grandmother did, not so long ago.. Friday, July 25, 2008
                          It's it nicer to see the words in bigger fonts? Doesn't strain your eyes that much=) here are the zany pics, of which the day seems so long ago=) Friday, July 18, 2008
We just received our prelim schedule, and fortunately the dates don't clash with the MSP oral which is set for the 29th of Aug, my father's birthday. =) I feel a little trepidation about the oral date, for my malay is nowhere close to fluent or even to a stage where I can speak without translating word by word from english in my thoughts to malay before speaking it out. Dear me, we'll just have to see how it goes eh?I made myself a resolution yesterday. I will strive hard to practise my piano and try my best to finish every piece of assignment that my teacher sets. Anyway playing the piano is relatively enjoyable and provides a break from the endless cramming. But sometimes I feel that I'm losing out academically for intelligent people like the scholars and Miss Chua cram till wee hours of the night and I spent the weekends, of about 6 to 7 hours of my time playing the piano and sleep at 10p.m. everyday. That means I miss out on a lot of revision time. Sigh. I don't have a choice. By 10 p.m. my brain starts to malfunction and disjoins from my body, by 10.30p.m. my lids start to slid shut, no matter how much the brain shouts at it not to (there's no use cos it's disjointed), and by 11p.m. if you don't let me sleep I would bet $5 I can sleep standing. By 11.30p.m. if I don't hit my pillow, I wouldn't be able to sleep for the entire night. So what's it gonna be, sleeping disorders or lack of revision time? You get my point... I will beat ting in her record in word challenge!! I MUST!! haha. Sometimes I feel so much like a chameleon, blending into the society by mimicking others, doing things that would make people like me instead of doing things that would make me the person I am. It's difficult to want to get up again after each setback. Do you know how much it hurts? I'm made of flesh and blood, I am human too. Friday, July 11, 2008
Hey=)I'm going to cut my hair on either saturday or sunday. haha. And karen's gonna cut a fringe. WHee!!! THere was a career awareness fair today, and I went for the pre-school education and psychology talk in the studio and the hall respectively. =) Laura, do your bo**s still hurt? HAHA. Sorry. You MADE me do it. HAHA. The oral was rather ok and I wasn't as nervous as I usually will be. Reason 1: I was hungry so I couldn't feel the butterflies that were supposed to be there. I think the acid killed them. *gasp. Reason 2: The piano practical I had on the 7th of july already drained me of any anxiety I could possibly find in recent weeks. Usually for the first BIG thing that is gonna happen to me in the year, I will find very nervous like e.g. the first performance in a year/SYF and stuff like that but after that anything else seems so much easier. Perhaps that was the reason why I was a nervous wreck during the piano practical on monday. haha. Will be revising the alkanes, alkenes, alcohols and the hydroxyl group and etc..... Hey you know what? I emailed a question I had to tjc not long ago and they replied! The question is as follows (only for ppl interested in A-level music): One of the criteria to take up A level music is to have a grade 5 practical and a grade 6 theory, but what if I have learnt the grade 6 theory but have not gone for the exam? Would I be able to take up the course? Ans: The criteria is set up by MOE and it is what we always tell potential students. But if you enter tjc and express an interest in this course, we would give you a short written test and audition with the musical instrument you play. WHEE!!! Of course, those weren't the exact words, but please. Human memory does have its flaws, but what's written there is everything that I captured in my mind. You know, the important parts.. =) Yay!!! Can take up A level music!!!!! =D Bye.=) Saturday, July 05, 2008
A new day brings along new challenges and with it comes? New determination to face the odds?On some days, I really feel like staying in bed and never waking up, dreading to face what comes in school. The world is really a cruel place, without love and concern. Friends, family and God gives me love. But sometimes I can't sense it from you. The world is such a complicated place. Why am I so sensitive? Ask my growing environment. When we were young, friends could argue heatedly over a small matter and say, after a few minutes, be best buds again. But now? I don't even know what goes on behind your mind. We are less outspoken than before, for we have learnt the art of hiding our inner thoughts in fear of the reaction it will incur. We pretend, we smile when we don't mean it and say "I'm happy to be your friend!" when you've hidden a dagger beneath the cloak, just in case. Even I do it. Why? Lessons learnt from previous experiences. I don't want to be bitter. I don't want to be hard. I want to be like others. I want to be happy. I want to be naive. I want to be innocent. I want to be the girl I was 5 years ago. But can I? I'm sorry. I didn't mean it to turn out bitter again. Forgive me. |
Me
PROFILE { YIQIAN
=)
tagboard
TAGTAG..=]=] links[: { BLOGSHOP
credits
layout: detonatedlove♥image: anjali patterns: minty_peach archives
|