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Friday, November 21, 2008
hey everyone! It's been a fantastic week, going out and having fun with my friends!From now onwards, I'm going to be happy no matter what, even when I look at things, see and hear things that wrench my heart out of its very roots... back to happier things: I bought a pair of shoes on wed cos my existing flats had holes in them=) I love them so much! They are white and so nice!!! I can't stand it. haha, i think I'm obsessed. During the day, I would sometimes take it out and admire it. haha. Oh dear. Anyway, I got interesting things to say! Things that I didn't blog on during the horrible Os. My conditioner melted! I think those days were too hot and it was placed next to the wall, you know, conduction and all.. beyond the walls of my bathroom is the atmosphere, and not a part of our neighbour's house, so the walls are always slightly warmer. It was at first gel like, you know, like semi-solid, but after it melting it sort of looked like warm milk but a little frozen, you'll need a little imagination here. And, I went job hunting and I found a job! But I didn't take it up cos the working hours were too long. It paid $1000 a month. You could try if you want. It's at isetan. =) And I bought everyone presents! Those who I owe during the Os. And I finally got my father his present! It's a very nice watch=D Ok, now, I'm gonna talk about depressing stuff: I think the reason I want to blog is that my feelings get read, so that people can share my joy, and friends my sadness at times, without me saying things aloud. Somehow, words always seem better typed out or written out, rather than to be said face-to-face. Have you wondered why? Many would have thought of the same question before, and I'm sure everyone would have had it answered. When one speaks, words flow into our mind and out the very instant, leaving us no time to phrase it nicely so that it'll be perfect, flawless. And sometimes, these very words, raw and imperfect, may reveal parts of ourselves that we fight so hard to conceal. Ever wondered why we feel so uncomfortable when we're with friends and parents at the same time? Do you actually know that one behaves differently around family and friends? I do. Everytime I leave the house, go out with friends that have hurt me time and time again, I ask myself, why should your friendship mean so much to me? Why did you have to leave such memories behind, so deeply rooted that, when you chose to bring on such a ferocious hurricane it leaves a gaping wound behind? Sometimes, I would think of giving up, then something happens. A touch, a friendly pat, a smile, laughing together, would make my resolve weaken, and I would tell myself "Just once more" Why Why Why? Why do you have to hurt me so? Wouldn't it be nice if one could have a lever, specifically for controlling emotions in the brain, so that we could choose to have it or not in that particular instant? I would cry, but no tears would flow I would bleed, but dry is my heart Thousands of stabs slash through My mind soul body Screaming vultures circle overhead And peck at my remains Till nothing is left And I vanish from the world |
Me
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